How Do We Honor Our Ancestors?
The idea of honoring and connecting with ancestors is one that has arisen often during my spiritual studies. As my understanding of generational trauma and cycles has grown, it has been both motivating and frightening to uncover my family’s past. And for me, those triggers begin just one generation back.
My father was a very abusive man – Physically, emotionally, and mentally. When presented with the direction to “honor your ancestors” these memories immediately rise like a steel wall around my heart. How am I to honor him?
Honor To Honor Our Ancestors Who Have Caused Us Pain
Here is what I have learned as I have untangled my triggered emotions and pounded down that steel wall –
My father treated his children better than he was treated. He didn’t always do a good job of fathering, but there were profound moments of protection. When he found out about sexual abuse at the hands of his brother, he beat his brother and then we left, never to see my uncle again. Though things were still difficult and sometimes very twisted, I was able to see that for me, I was going to have to live differently than what I had been shown. I began to realize I had an opportunity to learn to be happy and have peace everyday. So I left. I stepped out of the generational patterns and changed course. I read and learned and worked hard to love and teach from a place of pure love instead of fear.
One day, I remember sitting in a group of people who knew me well. My father was visiting, and we were all catching up. The thought crossed my mind that the people around us probably thought my dad must’ve been a great father, since I was so healthy and happy. By working on my issues and pains, I had brought honor to him without even knowing.
I never thought about this repercussion, because I was healing for me, not them. But this realization that I had inadvertently brought honor to my parents was thankfully a peaceful one. And my change of course helped prepare room for changes within my father, who later in his life spoke to me about his realizations that he had treated his children, and specifically his wife and daughters, horribly.
As I choose to live my life in a more honest, purposeful and kind way, I was actually showing honor to my father and my ancestors. And in a way that was completely separate from their actions, and more to honor myself than anyone else.
Honoring the Positive Cycles and Leaving the Negative
As I wrote about in this blog post, my husband and I had the unique opportunity to adopt my brother’s children. When we started on the journey of family adoption, I experienced great pain in my whole being. My siblings were angry and afraid because I dared to stop the abuse and stood up for my nieces and nephews that were not deserving of such abuse and neglect. One of my brothers even threatened me. I had been out of the abuse so long that my senses were not sure what to do. The pain I felt for having to go into attack and protect mode was hard. What to do? I had such a physical reaction. I remember no one was in the house when it happened – I started shaking and crying. All of a sudden, I saw a vision of someone (I think an ancestor) on a tall horse in the middle of a large and bloody battle yelling “A moi à moi à moi!” and warriors quickly came to his aid. I fell to my bed. It sounds dramatic and it was. That sentiment was what I felt. So as I cried, I too voiced “A moi a’ moi!” I was so tired of fighting with my siblings. So tired of not being supported.
And right then, my own warriors came, all of those ancestors that had gone before – many in my family line and other good people who knew and loved me from before this earthly time. I felt them rise and come around me. Soothing me and encouraging me. Telling me this was the right thing to do. That they all wanted this to be done. My future children deserved to be saved and loved.
Brian Kershisnik “She Will Find That Which Is Lost”
After that, I knew that there were ancestors I could trust. Ancestors that are desirous of improving and helping their lines to heal too. Not all are trustworthy, as I knew too well, but in that moment I felt others gather me up. As they comforted and supported me, I learned there are those on the other side rooting for me so I can help them find peace and forgiveness too.
The Power of Forgiving Our Ancestors
I know now this is true for everyone. If you are trying to figure out how to connect with your ancestors, I want to help. It is possible for you to feel their love and support as you break generational cycles that do not serve you, or them. It is possible to help them to find forgiveness, as my father sought forgiveness from me.
Within the Eclipse Meditation App, we have created tracks specifically to build that connection to our ancestors. Click here to download the app and explore those tracks today. Connect to your ancestors and forgive them. You will find many burdens released as you do this.
Things to remember As Your Connect With Your Ancestors
You must work on your own issues first. Your ancestors can then piggyback off of your learning and that way healing is complete.
We all have some ancestors whose negative choices are still impacting generations down the line. We may have to face this trauma head on. However we will also learn stories of hope and strength, and these characteristics are passed down to us too.
We all can find and access ancestors that are trustworthy and willing to heal too, with us.
Ancestors are not just those you are related to. It may also include those who have had a part in teaching and loving you.
If you have been adopted, you get to have 4 sets of parents and lines that need healing
Don’t be the victim, be the light-bearer and show your family the way. Your healing will affect past, present, and future generations.
If any of these ideas feel foreign to you, it is worth booking a one-on-one session to dive into these ideas about generational healing further. We even offer a free foundation session to uncover how we can best support your healing moving forward. Visit our scheduling page, where you can select which Eclipse Guide you feel most connected to, and schedule your free session. Our goal is to help personalize a motivating and thoughtful plan for healing trauma, so that it does not feel so overwhelming.
This post was written by Eclipse guide Domonique. Click here to learn more about the Eclipse guides, or follow on Instagram here for more wisdom and personal stories from Domonique!