When I was a young girl, I played high school basketball. I wanted so badly to have my parents come to my games. Because of my competitive nature and desperate need to be approved of, I constantly noticed if I didn’t have what others had. It wasn’t only about wanting them to be watching me, but to feel that I fit in with the other kids whose parents would come and cheer. However, my father was usually out of town and my mother had too many children to care for and could not afford to come to a game.
I remember when my dad finally came to watch me play. He arrived in grubby clothes and wore sandals with socks. I was so embarrassed. Now that it had finally happened, instead of appreciating that my dad took time to see me play, I could do nothing but think how others must be judging me, because of him.
Competition and Comparing
Though competition may have its place in life, this hungry comparison can easily hold us back from recognizing the good that already exists in ourselves or in others. We can change our negative mindset of competition and the need to compare ourselves to others. We can change it to something more powerful. Competition can be healthy as it can allow for options and the ability to move forward in a way that shows evidence of growth and change. But comparison is rarely done in a healthy way.
We compare for many reasons, the main one usually being our desire for love and approval. The paradox however, is that the only person who can truly give this to us is ourselves. But we don’t normally understand that truth until we are much older or until we start to work on healing from our past wounds, real and perceived. No matter what, it all starts with the questions “What else is possible? What can I really have? Am I worth loving? Am I loved already?” If you ask yourself any of these questions, you are on track to becoming a Creator. You are already beginning to allow yourself to become a Creator.
Being a Creator is something that we are meant to do here on earth. I personally believe that this capacity was given by The Creator himself, and is possible through the earthly bodies he gave us.
If we are willing to be a Creator or be creative we will find that what we are doing can be useful, helpful and make a difference. Instead of judging ourselves or others, being creative can open us up to new ways of doing and seeing things and ultimately it will help your connection with The Creator be stronger. This mindset can also help you to see that you really are valued and valuable.
My father passed away a few years ago, at the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic. It wasn’t a big deal to many people. To me, I remember crying not because of what I missed about my dad, because of what we never had or what could’ve been. The difficulties in my life he caused were immense, but what I learned from him was also immeasurable.
That one time my father showed up at my basketball game and actually show he cared, I rejected. I was not able to accept what I did not believe in myself – that I was worth it. But that experience later triggered in me awareness of what I was doing to myself. What I wanted – my parents to come see me play – was realized yet I could not appreciate it. In my own desperate need for approval, I couldn’t really receive it or give it to others.
When finally processing that high school experience, I realized I wanted to be a Creator. I wanted to create experiences for myself and others to feel loved, approved of, and accepted.
Are you ready to become a Creator? What can you do to start seeing that you are good? Is there something you can change if you aren’t doing what you feel is right? How will you make that change?
Be in a loving competition with yourself. See how far and how much you can change and heal. Can you allow your best to be good enough and love what your best looks like?
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This post was written by Eclipse guide Domonique. Click here to learn more about the Eclipse guides, or follow on Instagram here for more wisdom and personal stories from Domonique!