Why this issue, why this situation, why this trauma?
Who better to deal with her unique life experience than her? Who better than her to deal with the situation with loving intent, who better to understand the misunderstood and help overcome the pains being caused by the experience?
I have asked myself this question too
When I first started to foster, going through the ugly parts of our foster care system led me to ask “why me?” I felt called to fostering, and could not shake the feeling that I was meant to do it, but was feeling extremely discouraged. And that thought only became louder when personal past experiences started to derail our foster plans further. When I had to tell my husband that our plans were going to be disrupted because of the abuse and neglect of someone in my past, I was ashamed and feeling angry and picked on. We had been responsible and caring, why should we continue to be affected by someone else’s negative choices?
That was when, in the middle of my pity party and my anger, I was blessed to hear my inner voice speak to me and say “why not you?”
Who better to teach and love and nurture these children than one who understands the misunderstood and the effort it takes to overcome the pains and the trials of life and love? Who better than you to help them see the possibilities that are part of life?
These thoughts came as if not from my own mind, and helped me see myself with clearer eyes, from the outside looking in. Suddenly my painful life experiences were being painted as the reasons I felt called to foster, and the reasons I was worthy of such a calling. Instead of the dark memories stopping me from moving forward confidently in this mission to nurture, as it had felt before.
And this mindset change made all the difference
So my husband and I rolled up my sleeves and got to work. We served well as foster parents, and continued to uncover ways our previous experiences, good and bad, had prepared us.
A few years into our fostering experience, I learned the greatest answer to the question I had desperately asked – “why me?” when we were given the opportunity to adopt two of our foster children.
This came at a time when I was finally confident in my ability to teach and love and nurture. Finally instead of responding with another “why me?”, my husband and I responded with a resounding YES! We were ready. And despite the continued struggles of multiple family members dealing with the residual trauma of abuse, the foster care system, and more, I moved forward confidently in my calling as a mother.
Life comes with painful jolts that shock our system and knock us off our comfortable path. Sometimes so harshly we have to change course completely. When this happens, we have all cried out WHY ME? However, if we pause in those painful moments, and listen for the answer, it will softly come. You and I have both been prepared for life’s twists and turns, and we can move forward knowing we are the right person for the job.
If calling back your personal power in this way does not come easily to you, we have created resources to help. This includes thoughtful guided meditation tracks that will allow your wise subconscious to clear out insecurities and hopelessness filling your mind with noise.
Click here to access these meditations, or locate our Eclipse App at Apple and Android stores under Eclipse Meditations.
This post was written by Eclipse guide Domonique. Click here to learn more about the Eclipse guides, or follow on Instagram here for more wisdom and personal stories from Domonique!